Sunday, March 9, 2008

The Disney Princesses have everything, except...

...all but Sleeping Beauty don't have mothers!
Have you noticed that? Yeah, neither have I. My wife and I were watching 101 Dalmations - I don't know how the topic came up but it did. So, by all means, let's give them a mother from their movie. That way, when we re-watch these films we can say to ourselves "there's your mom... but you'll never know." Yes! These are the things I think about.

Ariel: The Little Mermaid, who had King Tritan (a.k.a. the 'pimpin' of the sea) for a father also had several other little girls. My guess, from several other different sea animals. I'd say her mom is probably Ursula. I know, it's a sick thought but "Never under-estamate the power of Body Language" gross

Belle: Her father was Crazy old Maurice, hmm... crazy old Maurice, hmm... Since he was crazy, he probably wanted someone who was crazy, too. Belle's Mom has got to be the one who sings "I need six eggs" at the opening market scene. She had several other kids with her and Belle, being level headed, it was probably for the best that she went with her Dad to help him as much as she could. I am curious to know why she NEEDED exactly six eggs. A 6 egg omlette? Maybe she's baking two cakes? Lets hope for a straight to DVD release - and then a straight to Disney Vault un-release on what the 6 eggs are for.

Jasmine: Her father's name was 'The Sultan' in the film Aladdin which isn't much to go on. With a careful eye, though, you can see her in the crowd scoping up Arabian Coinage in the Prince Ali song. Eh, you gotta do what you gotta do. If only the Sultan was generous, so generous with the alimony, sister's gotta get her grill fixed! Look at those teeth!

Cinderella: Her real mom died as the story goes which is why she has a step-mother. But her mom, as it turns out, has to be the fairy godmother. Just like all of our moms, she makes everything better and can keep a close eye on her... nevermind the pumpkin carraige, can't you just do the dishes for me one time?

Snow White: Unfortunately, there aren't any other females in this story. The prince, the huntsman, the 7 dwarves and a bunch of animals. Snow White's mom... who knows. It was probably was the old witch that didn't know the apple was poisoned. That's the trouble with alzheimer's.

Sleeping Beauty: Aurora Rose, The only one with a mother that they clearly show... But what fun is that! Instead of her "mom", lets say she was adopted and her real mom was Maleficent. That's predictable enough. She 'may' have been one of the towns folk who was put to sleep, but given the choice, I'd love to have a mom who could turn into a dragon.
And there you have it. Three turned out the villioness was the mom the whole time, but sometimes, in the real world, that's just the way life turns out.

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